He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize