he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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