I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I miss vodka workout Fridays
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
