what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
