I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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