Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
