Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize