I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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