Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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