my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
