I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
