never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
