I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Acid is not a monday night drug
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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