Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
even my farts smell like vagina
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
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