I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
