Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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