I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
