Are we in a gay sports bar?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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