So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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