Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Randomize
