Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
