I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
