lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
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