How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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