Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
