I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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