We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
