Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
