I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
