Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Gay?
German.
Pity.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
