i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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