i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize