So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
