If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
