I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize