I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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