do herpes really smell.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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