whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
