Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
