you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
