Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You're like the curious george of whores
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
