I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
