I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
