this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
