i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Let's paint friendship bongs
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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