I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
