When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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