We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
