You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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