This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
