I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
