Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
