And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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