Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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