hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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