I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
