No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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