You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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