don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize