I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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