I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
