Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
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