I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
