i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
