A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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