Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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