wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
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